Mikhail Prokhorov, the new owner of the New Jersey Nets, recently stated that when the Nets move east from Jersey to Brooklyn, the team will lose the name “Nets” in place of something he likes more. While he has not announced the new name yet (and since the move to Brooklyn has been in perpetual “when it happens” mode for a few years now, there is no guarantee it will EVER happen), I thought it might be fun to look at some of the possible new names for the team…
–Brooklyn Bridges: Wow, I start the list off with an obvious one. Shoot me. Actually, that gives me an idea…
–Brooklyn Bullets: The name was vacated in Washington a few years ago, and since there are some very unsafe areas of the borough, it might actually fit. Then again, they are leaving Newark, which is annually ranked among the Top Murder Cities in the country.
–Brooklyn Landgrabbers: There are some that think the deal to buy the team is nothing more than just that for previous owners of the team. That leads into…
–Brooklyn Evictors: A number of people have lost their home as part of the real estate maneuvers to get the arena built.
–Brooklyn Railroad: The arena is going to be built right above the Long Island Railroad’s Flatbush Avenue terminal. Hmmm…another instance where a team copies Madison Square Garden, which is built right above the Long Island Railroad’s Penn Station terminal.
–Brooklyn Swamp Dragons: The once rumored name that the Nets were switching to a while back. Now is the perfect time to actually make the change.
–Brooklyn Travoltas: In honor of one of the greatest actors to ever come out of Brooklyn. Wait. He was in Welcome Back, Kotter and Saturday Night Fever, which are both set in the borough. He has to be from there, right? He’s from Jersey, you say? Let’s change the name now, then.
–Brooklyn Spikes: Spike Lee is one of the proudest Brooklyn natives on the planet. Name the tea after him and maybe he’ll switch his allegiance from the Knicks.
–Brooklyn Stolis (or Caviar): In honor of Prokhorov’s native Russia, not to mention the huge Russian enclave in Brighton Beach.
–Brooklyn Nickel: This is how Prokhorov made his fortune, so why not take the name here to try to help him avoid losing that fortune by owning the Nets.
–Brooklyn Guidos: Oops. I forgot. The team is leaving New Jersey. We don’t want to offend Snooki and the gang by stealing their title.
–Brooklyn Swanns: I know he played football, but that name has a nice right to it. And Brooklyn is on the water, so maybe there are swans floating around in the water somewhere. No? OK, let’s just move on.
–Brooklyn Dodgers: Nah. That name makes no sense. Dodgers are from Los Angeles.